it's the first

hello hello.

and oh ya, i guess it's not to late to say "happy new year!".
it's already 2009. i cant believe it because 2008, now seems to me to be so brief despite being filled with so many memories. memories of fear, happiness, excitement.
personally, i went through a lot in 2008. it was sure a bumpy road, and there were many times when i thought that i should just stop, and run away. there were even times when i questioned myself, whether i really wanted to do what i did.

It was so difficult doing SAM, torturous to be exact. with tonnes of homework to do, assignments to be handled in, presentations to be prepared for and not to forget, every student's best friend, the endless tests and examinations. being under scholarship, hence the high expectations, just added the pressure. and oh ya, did i tell you? im in the pursuit of medicine, so i was supposed to be "perfect", given no space to do any mistake.and of course, there were the medical school interviews, and after that,having to endure the suspense that took our breath away whenever the unconditional offer came out. you keep thinking did i get it or i didn't? then the interviews keeps playing in your head, and all of a sudden, u can think of fantastic answers to the interviewer's killer questions.( and be so baffled that why the idea didnt come when it was supposed to and u get angry at yourself)
then, u keep regreting what u said and all the 'what if's' pop out. and from my experience, the worst part of all, is when i learn that some of my classmates, (who are all excellent students) didn't even get chosen for any interview. the reality is, without any interviews, how will they express themselves? how the heck are they supposed to show to the uni ppl that they are worthy of that place in their medical school?
it makes my heart bleed, especially when this happens to my close friends and when i did get the offer, how was i supposed to console them when, what i really wanted to do is to run to them, hug them and tell them its ok, there's still hope?? but you cant never do taht because then you think what if they say "hey u got the offer,so u'll never understand how bad i feel".i was always in such a dilema not knowing how or what to say to them.gradually, the friendship will drift further away and you can no longer look at or talk to that friend the same way again.*SIGH*

But come to think of it now, all that SAM agony was a necessary evil. seriously! it gave me the push to do things that i never thought of doing, like doing a research! crazy right? exactly! doing researchs, though not indepth ones, at the age of 18 is something that many other malaysians dont get a chance to do.it didnt only taught me new skills but also values.about patience. trust. determination. friendship. perseverence. i learnt that nothing is easy in life, and that if u want something, it wouldnt come rolling to u,so no matter how small or big it is, u have got to work for it.

So im proud, having had pulled through this far, im closer to achieving my dream of becoming a doctor. 2009 is a new chapter in my life. from this february i will fly away from my beloved family and friends, to become a medic student in The university of newcastle (UoN),and dont u even think of football because this newcastle is in australia (the land where the hot Hugh Jackman comes from..hehe)

in fact, that is the reason i have even started this blog.my friends, NIK nazarina and ilham demanded that i have a blog so that they'll know what im doing there in oz. to stalk me secretly.muahaha.

and why "step by step" u may ask?? it's because i believe that
Success is a journey. do it step by step and if u do fall, stand up and continue your journey.

so from this year onwards, im gonna put it all here. my step by step journey to become a doctor.

ps. Syukur to Allah for everything that he has blessed me with. health. a complete and loving family. a house. happiness. the scholarship. the place in UoN..and the list goes on.
pause for a while, think of all the things He gave u and say alhamdullilah.